Grand Theft Autumn
by sillykiwi
Summary: Aliases, connection, and a forgettable face: Cammie Morgan, your ideal thief, plans to rob the trust fund babie of Blackthorne blind by going undercover as one of them. Unfortunately it's a school for boys. Fortunately, Cammie is a criminal mastermind.


Cameron Morgan wiped beads of sweat off her forehead with a small, blue towel, as she sat up on her state-of-the-art Olympic weight bench, and twisted the cap off a bottle of water sitting on the ground next to her. She turned the volume up on the huge television hanging on the opposite wall of her personal gym, breathing heavily.

"She was last seen near the outskirts of Brooklyn, driving a stolen black Lamborghini and wearing a black sweater, black jeans, and boots. Anybody who sees her should report her to the authorities immediately," the newscaster said. "Morgan is considered armed and dangerous."

Cammie scoffed. As if a cop - let alone a civilian - could find her, especially with such outdated information. The Lamborghini was stolen at least a week ago, and had already been sold to some Turkish drug lord. Plus, the picture they were showing of her was totally unflattering; she usually looked at least ten times better than that. Sighing, she turned the television off and returned to the task at hand. While she was adding another ten pounds to the bar she was lifting, there was a strange buzzing sound from the other side of the room.

"What do you want, Jonas?" She asked when she made it to the phone, "I'm kind of busy right now."

"I'm filling out your application, what's your alias this time? Personally, I think you should revisit Alex O'Neil. Sure, she was a girl, but she had character."

Cammie rolled her eyes and picked up a pair of scissors on the bench next to her, "I don't really care, Jonas. You can pick whatever you want. Just don't name me after one of those robots you like or whatever."

"Optimus Prime is a great name!" Jonas protested, on the other line. "It's noble, it's grand, it strikes fear into the heart of every Decepticon-" he paused and erased the name he had been typing when Cammie started to make gagging sounds. "-fine. Well, now you have to choose your own name."

"What about...Matthew," Cammie mused slowly, as she left the weight bench and walked into the gym's attached bathroom, her scissors in one hand. She examined herself in the mirror. Shoulder-length honey blonde hair, blue eyes, and thin lips. Easy to forget, really, which had served her and her heists well over the years. "Yeah. Matthew."

"A last name would also be helpful," Jonas deadpanned. "You're acting like you're bad at creating aliases."

"I'm about to transfer to the most prestigious all-male preparatory schools in the country, cut me some slack," Cammie replied, wetting a comb and running it through her hair.

"You once stole a five-million dollar pearl and platinum necklace from the richest woman in the state," Jonas pointed out. "I can't be impressed more than I was in that moment."

"Whatever," Cammie shrugged.

"She was wearing the five-million dollar pearl and platinum necklace at the time you stole it from her," Jonas continued. Cammie grinned, remembering the day fondly. "Anyway, Blackthorne isn't much to get nervous about. What's the problem? Are you just now realizing you're a girl who's attempting to join a boy school?" He laughed to himself.

"The problem, Jo, is that I haven't been to actual school in years." Cammie pointed out, "And Gallagher doesn't count because I spent more time selling heirlooms to Italian crime lords than showing up for class."

Jonas scoffed, "You won't be going to school. You've made it very clear that I'm supposed to do all of your homework."

Cammie smirked, "You have to keep your scholarship some way, right? Double the homework means double IQ points!"

"That made no sense," Jonas said, and even though she couldn't see him she knew he was giving her the signature how-are-you-a-heist-legend-you're-so-stupid look. He was silent for a moment and then added, "Oh, and I got that list of Blackthorne legacies you asked for."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Jonas," Cammie sighed happily, as she began to trim her hair. It fell around her feet in chunks.

"Yeah, I don't know what you'd do without me, either," Jonas grumbled. "And what am I getting? Ten percent. Ten percent of your profit. I don't know why I do these things for you."

"Because you love me, even though you deny it," she said, "And because I bought you that black surveillance van I know you're sitting in right now."

"Buying it and stealing it from the CIA are two completely different things."

"And that, my friend, is what I like to call details, schmetails," Cammie replied. Her hair was now in a 1920's-era bob, right below her ears. "Remember, Jo, nothing matters in life unless-"

"-you can get a hefty profit from it, you've told me this a billion times," Jonas yawned. He continued to type for a few minutes before asking, "Extracurriculars?"

Cammie continued to snip at her hair, thinking about it. "Track and Field." she finally answered, smiling. She was definitely good at running, she knew that much. "Or, if possible, if there was some sort of varsity burglar team-"

"Haha," Jonas said sarcastically. "Track and Field it is. But while we're on the subject of you stealing something - not that we ever aren't - there are these two dicks in my year who could probably stand to lose a hundred grand or two. You should consider stealing from them first. I mean, just saying. Since I'm such a good friend towards you and everything."

Cammie snorted. Nearly every time she spoke to Jonas, he brought up Zach and Grant, two classmates of his who, from the sounds of it, had spawned from the devil. Generally, Cammie shrugged it off. Jonas was a total drama queen, after all.

"Jonas," Cammie grinned while she examined her hair-or what was left of it in the mirror, "I can't promise you who I'll steal from, but you keep doing these things for me and I might bump you up to fifteen percent of my profit."

"Joy," he muttered and continued to type away at Cammie's application, "Oh, and did I mention that Preston Winters will be starting the same day that you do?"

Cammie almost dropped the scissors in her hand. Almost. "Preston Winters. As in, first son, Preston Winters? As in, Preston Winters, the boy with the Spiderman collector's edition watch worth well over five hundred thousand dollars alone and the collection of first-print, mint condition, one of a kind, Marvel comics?"

Jonas rolled his eyes, "That would be the one."

Oh my God," Cammie gushed, almost girlishly, putting a melodramatic hand over her heart. "How long have you known this piece of information? Can I room with him? Do you think-"

"I found out about two hours ago; no, he's going to have a single and possibly some Secret Service men; and no, I don't think he will just give you his priceless comic book collection," Jonas answered swiftly. "Although, I do faintly remember your Laura Prince alias being pretty successful at things like that."

"It was the red dress, I think," Cammie said. "And the super-uncomfortable heels she always wore. Although they did make my legs look really long." She'd finally finished cutting her hair, and she looked at her reflection in the mirror, turning her head from side to side, fluffing it up a little.

She looked awesome.

"I already signed you up for all the classes I'm in - and I had to fake some serious test scores to do so - and the only thing left is your parent or guardian's signature," Jonas said. "Which, when you give me a last name, will be set."

"I was thinking Solomon," Cammie mused. "Or is that too obvious?"

"Is it too obvious to use the last name of the FBI agent who's been trying to take you down for the past three years as the last name to your parent or guardian?" Jonas asked. He was silent for a minute. "Solomon it is."

"I like to think of it as a sort of 'fuck you'," Cammie smiled. "And it's not like he doesn't deserve it." She walked over to the shower and started the water, testing it with her hand.

"Well, Matthew Solomon, your application has been completed and submitted," Jonas said, satisfactorily. "They say that in about a month, you should get a reply, but I think with your gratuitous monetery donation and my amazing computer skills, I can bump you up the list and you should be attending Blackthorne Prep for Boys by next week."

"Thanks."

* * *

><p><strong>This is Lily. Didn't think you'd ever hear from us again, did you? Well, me and Kiwi decided to write another collab together and this came out of it. What do you guys think? Pretty epic right? I think so. Cammie is such a badass. Review? Otherwise Cammie might steal your computer and do it for you. <strong>


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